Friday, August 26, 2011
Finally, it's Friday...
Finally, it's the weekend...
Hi everyone. I hope you all had a good week. I know we were all living for the weekend this week - it seemed like quite a long one. Levi's counts are on the way down (as expected), but he is holding up very well. He still has just a trace of an ANC, it was 56 this morning. This means that tomorrow it will likely be zero. He did have a blood transfusion this week, and will probably need platelets soon. He and Steph have been logging the miles and wearing paths around this hospital room. He is very active, and getting into everything he can think of. At one point Steph was working on cleaning some of his sippy cups, and when she turned around to check on him he had climbed up on one of the chairs and was having a good ol' time just bouncing away. Needless to say, Steph has had a busy week, but enjoyed a visit from her dad on Wednesday and a dinner from her aunt and uncle on Wednesday night.
My dad was up around Warsaw yesterday for some meetings, so he was able to swing by after work and pick up Caylee to take her down to their house. She was ultra-excited to see him and thought she was pretty big stuff leaving with Grandpa in his truck by herself. She did well on the way down, and after a Happy Meal and a nap she decided that he was going the wrong direction for Grandma's house and gave him quite the earful the rest of the way there. Nothing like a 3 year old backseat driver!
I came down to Indy this afternoon, and it was great to see my wife and little guy. I couldn't believe how much better he was getting around. He also looks like he is putting on some weight again; Steph said he has gained 1.5 pounds since July. We enjoyed some daddy/son rough-housing and conversations about the trucks outside. His little ornery streak is definitely back, which is heartening to see. It is good to spend time with him and Steph, and I am looking forward to the weekend with them both.
I am not sure why this past week was so tough. I had to get talked off the ledge a few times - it seemed that the separation and stress just kept adding up on me until I felt like breaking. It seems like my hardest times always come after I allow myself to start focusing inward; it's easy to fall into the trap of self-pity, and I start stuffing all my struggles and worries into a jar labeled "hopeless". But who am I to complain? As soon as I start letting go of me and begin to shift my focus back to God, the clouds start to clear and I can get back to doing what I'm supposed to do; be a loving husband and a strong daddy. After all, this battle has already been fought and won, we're just waiting to realize the end.
There's a passage in Matthew that I love that talks about this worry and how futile it really is.
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
As usual, I had my music cranked in my truck on the way down, and a song by came on by Red titled "It's Already Over". The chorus brought tears to my eyes, because it seemed to describe the point I had reached over the past few days:
Give it all to you
Letting go of me
Reaching as I fall
I know it's already over now
Nothing left to lose
Loving you again!
I know it's already over now!
In closing, I want to thank you all for your prayers and encouragement this week; they were needed and appreciated. We serve a God who continues to move mountains in our lives, and once again I give it all to Him.
We love you all,
-Michael, Stephanie, Caylee, and little Levi